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The Poor Man's Only Music

by Lee Bones

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1.
A cataclysm hit my heart And I don’t know where to start But it went deep and it’s still buried there A thunderstorm inside my cage That ebbs and surges at the worst times I sometimes wonder if it was in me The whole damn time waiting to coalesce Waiting to wrench itself free through my pain Well it’s funny how a day can change All the one’s ahead And reconfigure the dead ones Funny how a day can change I’ve lost my range I’ve misplaced everything I’ve opened my cage to let the water out You’ve got a soft spot to soak it up for me But now you’re holding all the rain that you can Tomorrow night I’ll put out valuables But just right now I can’t breathe too much Well it’s funny how a day can change All the one’s ahead And reconfigure the dead ones Funny how a day can change Lightning bolts might any second now Crash and course all through my brain But very soon, girl I promise you I’ll return to the center-piece
2.
I’ve been thinking far too much About you long ago And it’s giving me a longing And it’s hidden some truth I was there but I couldn’t really feel it When you coughed out your life Upstairs I could have been dreaming Or I might have been God Days before we’d laughed I swear Was that all you could breathe out of the air? Don’t tell me that Til today I saw my education As how to leave like you That’s not right, I swear I must have made a choice So that I could follow you Two thousand years and so many winters And the desert’s still dry But it’s cool in the night and the starlight Makes the sand have a glow Days before we’d laughed I swear Was that all you could breathe out of the air? Don’t tell me please
3.
In the morning a note on the mirror read I’m still crazy I held your words in my hands I’m still crazy for you I’m still crazy You made a bet that you couldn’t win you said All for a good cause And in the morning you fought off the dogs All for a very good cause Here we are at home at last Here we are at home Once out in my bomb shelter You brought me water It was cold and it gave me clarity You brought me water Lovin you is like the sound of an old town Bells for the people In your voice is all of their charity Bells for the people Bells for the people Up ahead the path of years Your lovely sound I’ll hear Hear it hear it hear it in my mind
4.
What If 03:24
If I was a gumshoe I’d advise you not to hire me All I do all day is search the wrong locales For misinformation I’ll take a case, hypothesize Invent a lead and follow it down That picture on the wall I’d say Proves the dead man loved to look out But it’s a hotel room And the man who died didn’t sign the guestbook I’m the world’s worst detective Imagining adultery in vivid wrenching tones The bedroom scenes Flash in my dreams But that’s the only place that they exist What if what if what if What if what if So take care if you partner up with me All the others haven’t lasted long I’d point out a clue and say here’s what we do They’d stare at me jaw dropped on the floor And any dame any day Walkin in the smoky room will make me swoon And pretty soon the river runs away That marigold is really a bullet hole That night she wasn’t where I thought she was That night I wasn’t who I thought I was I’m the world’s worst detective Imagining adultery in vivid wrenching tones The bedroom scenes Flash in my dreams But that’s the only place that they exist What if what if what if What if what if
5.
Blind To Me 03:54
You might be blind to me But I’m not deaf to you And while you’re thinking I’m sleeping I’m awake as a baby bird in the cold bright dawn Dropping my eaves innocently Trying not to hear And yet straining my ears My every fear my every doubt My every beat myself thought up about You just confirmed You so-called family You think that I am not a solid stone You think I never did my work at home Well I’ll make you feel as sorry as I do And twice as alone as I am all the time Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? I’m a little prince in a bell jar And the chamber I’m in is bouncing your echoes into my drums Dancing your drunk talk into my slums And I don’t need you man I don’t need you Well I know that words after 4 a.m. Maybe should be forgiven, forgotten But I’m shaking and sweating While you two are resting your minds You make me never want to sing again You make me never want to see you again But I’ll revel in the guilt you feel And I’ll wake up the judge and the justice Swelling in my wrathful heart Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? I’m a little prince in a bell jar And the chamber I’m in is bouncing your echoes into my drums Dancing your drunk talk into my slums And I don’t need you man I don’t need you
6.
Gettin' On 04:28
I woke up in my cabin Middle of the night Threw on my clothes and stepped outside To the blue corridor The windows of the night train Threw back some light But obscured what lay out in the heights And I knew I was being watched Then it hit me Gettin' on that rainy day She was there wearing red looking out to sea Stepping off when I do Will she be on the platform knowing it’s me I snapped out of my reverie Turned to the door Dividing up the train cars And headed toward the rear The shadow of my follower Shivered into view I coldly then followed suit And shook in my boots Half time I stepped then broke out and ran Outside the sunlight started to break And I tripped and went dark Gettin' on that rainy day She was there wearing red looking out to sea Stepping off when I do Will she be on the platform knowing it’s me
7.
You sweet soul think back on your hollow past Think back to the bats screaming out from the walls Your homemade house had room for them all And had room for his fear He’s been away He’s been away so long He passed on He gave you more than a drinking song You drink well And your thirst is never slaked But for him and you There was a time before you had a taste You get mad and it shows since he went below Are you more than a replica? You sweet soul you’ll get older You sweet soul you’ll get older than he was Hang on to that spark Hang on to your golden girl She brought you home And dropped a hope inside of your heart There’s a light behind and a light ahead That was his this is yours He’s been away He’s been away so long He passed on He gave you more than a drinking song
8.
As the sun came fallin' down She was down there at the pound A shackle in her eyes He was nearby down the street Dancing only in his feet Tappin' out a beat What’s more than a life Lived well through the weather changes? What’s less than a lost old legend? Well, we'll know it in the end His head was full of rotten meat She could smell it in the wheat Lying fallow in his fields She saw he could not bring to bear Thought to life brought through the air Cosmic dust along his trail What’s more than a life Lived well through the weather changes? What’s less than a lost old legend? Well, we'll know it in the end Years went by and she had gone Years had gone since she said bye Then she traced the yellow thread And at its end he stood ahead And after years at last she said What do you witness in your eyes? What’s more than a life Lived well through the weather changes? What’s less than a lost old legend? Well, we'll know it in the end
9.
My mind looks back My soul stays here Thoughts wander far away Ending up stranded on my page The past is blue Seen through my honest eyes But I can make it bright Trying on other lives Took a brush and dipped in paint Crafted images throughout my days All depict some scenery That I’ll never see The railroad tracks Bound to their foreign fates My fantasies are there Golden wings flying through my hair I’ve never left Where I was born I don’t know why I dream Miracles far from me Built a wheel for the water It spins on faithfully But it will never carry me To where I’ll never go
10.
I look down and I notice I am sleeping sound There’s too much light on the outside It’s making pressure on my mind There’s been no use of time There’s a note that I hear in almost every sound It makes me want to feel the right pain Like watching a cat run in the rain And be still and keep good company It’s the high in that flicker of noise That little shimmering That wakes me up sometimes People say that you’re never alone And that scares the hell out of me Cause then we’d all be blue by design There are times when the water in your body’s soul Comes so close to your spinal chord You can feel the ghost of some dead lord Reeling in his grave What still fits in his plan That he had in the pan When he was old at heart? What became of the book? What became what it took? There’s been no use of time
11.
Right roads and wrong roads To be truthful I've traveled Both roads myself There'll be good days and bad days And goin' half-mad days You can never be sure of which hand you'll be dealt There's good folks and bad folks There's saplings and strong oaks All trying to grow There's good days and bad days And goin' half-mad days You can never be sure of which hand you'll be dealt Years now have gone by Without anything goin' Half-way my way The clock keeps on turnin' With the fireplace burnin' As I stare at the woodstove And wonder where have I been And sometimes it's smokin' And the kindling is yearning For abundance and weight And the only way inside Is to let it all betide You can never be sure Of which hand you'll be dealt
12.
I’ve seen enough of your city Its streets have left me cold The dream no longer warms me And I feel so damn alone If you’ll get me to the station By the break of day Point me toward the north-bound train And I’ll be on my way Won’t you put me on the next train Headed north to where I belong Put me on the next train By morning light I’ll be long gone I brought my music to you A song—a poor man’s dream But night life and the bright lights They just aren’t what they seem I can hear the steel rails humming At the break of dawn Winding toward New England Back home where I belong Won’t you put me on the next train Headed north to where I belong Put me on the next train By morning light I’ll be long gone

about

Songs written and recorded in various stages of ecstatic hope, bounding despair, wallowing grief, overwhelming joy, domestic love, volatile anger, despotic jealousy.

Presented to you in exquisite, warts-and-all condition.

Put to tape exclusively on my trusty old Yamaha MT-50 4-track cassette because, what else?

credits

released July 26, 2019

All songs recorded and performed by Lee Godleski

All songs written by Lee Godleski except "Which Hand You'll Be Dealt" (Lee Godleski/Ed Godleski) and "Put Me on the Next Train" (Ed Godleski)

Photography by Melinda Abercrombie
Art by Brian Langan

Special thanks to Allison Robinson and Jon Tehel for your patience and support, and h/t to S.T.C. for the title

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Lee Bones Catskill, New York

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